like freedom
by autumn midnights
Summary: Sirius finally moves out from Grimmauld Place, and tells Remus the good news. Remus/Sirius, Marauder Era.


_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. JK Rowling does. That's why she's a billionaire and I have an eleven-year-old car. _

* * *

Remus is all sharp angles and fresh scars that are bright against too-pale skin, hazel eyes that are brilliant but tired, always too damn tired. The week before the moon he's jittery and on edge, legs bouncing under the table and quill tapping on the desk, restless energy trying to escape. The week after the moon he's slow, movements ginger, fresh bandages and bruises peeking out from under his robes. The two weeks in between, he breathes a sigh of relief.

Sirius is all tawny skin and raven hair that's always just a little too long. He moves with a confident grace, and everyone watches; they want to be him or be with him, one or the other, boys and girls alike. He's wild and reckless but charismatic enough to pull it off, and nobody can stay angry at him long before he's charming his way back into their good graces with a witty remark.

Remus never used to be a touchy-feely person but Sirius has a habit of draping himself wherever he pleases; he's on the arm of Remus's chair, half-falling into Remus's lap when he laughs at something James says. He's stretched out on one of the sofas in the common room, throwing his feet on Remus's legs. He's showing up late to breakfast, meeting the others at the Three Broomsticks, and squeezing into a seat that's not really a seat, it's the edge of Remus's seat, but it's okay. He doesn't do that with the others nearly as much.

Then it's sixth year, it's Christmas vacation, and Sirius shows up at Remus's house. It's five in the afternoon and he smells like Firewhiskey and Remus hurries outside before his parents can question why his sixteen-year-old friend is half-drunk before the sun's gone down.

"I moved out," Sirius says. "I'm staying with James."

This is a long time coming, and Sirius has been alternating between joking about and threatening to move out since Remus met him in first year, but the fact that it's actually happened still comes as a bit of a jolt. "What happened?" Remus asks, as though there's not sixteen years' worth of reasons for this day. Sirius breathes out a puff of Firewhiskey air.

"I'm done with them all," he says, shaking his head, and it's an answer but not an answer at the same time. "I can't deal with them."

"Okay," Remus says. "You don't have to deal with them anymore." He moves closer to Sirius, for a hug, to give support, _something - _and then Sirius's lips are on his and he can taste Firewhiskey and his hands tangle in Sirius's beautiful jet-black waves, he feels the taut muscles of the other boy's chest, and then he pulls away because _oh damn__what if the neighbors see what if my parents see what if- _

"Did I do something wrong?" Sirius asks, all half-drunk seriousness, and Remus looks around to see if anyone's watching. He can imagine the disapproving looks in his head - not just from the neighbors, but from his parents, even. He tugs Sirius around the side of the house so they're not as exposed as they are in the front garden.

"What was that for?" Remus asks, but not meanly - never mean, not to Sirius with those beautiful grey eyes, not to Sirius who helps save him from himself every month.

"I'm free," Sirius says. "I'm living with James - I have money from my uncle Alphard -" He hesitates, his typical masterful wordplay dimmed by the alcohol. His cheeks are flushed from the wintry air and the Firewhiskey and the kiss. "I'm free to do whatever I want."

Remus kisses him this time, and he tastes like freedom, all their worries gone for a few glorious moments. There in the side garden, there is nothing but Remus and Sirius, and nothing else matters. Somewhere off in the distance, in the very back of their minds, there's a war on and Remus struggles with lycanthropy and judgmental people tell them boys don't kiss boys, but right now none of that is relevant.

(And years down the road, Remus conjures a Patronus by thinking of this moment, and wishes that they could have stayed like that forever.)

* * *

_A/N: So I'm...back? Maybe? _

_I took a hiatus from fanfic to earn a bachelor's degree but now I'm done with school for a bit, so I may be trying to get back into it now that I have more time. I have a couple projects that I've been messing around with but we'll see what comes of it. _

_Thanks for reading, and if you liked, please leave a review! _


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